FAILURE.... or is it?

At the beginning of this blog adventure I told you that I would "tell it like it is" and today I'll hold true to that. Life has warts, you know?

So this was the second weigh-in for the Yokota's Biggest Loser YBL event and I'm not nearly as excited as I was for the first one since I've gained almost a half-pound. I can already hear some folks thinking "HA! Failure of the Primal lifestyle... you should eat some whole-grain noodles fattie!" But being the insightful old man that I am I can very easily look back at my food logs and journal entries and see exactly where the problem is.

It's my wife's fault.

Now READ ALL OF THE STUFF BELOW before you start sending the hate mail please.

I blame the bird. Well, maybe not...

My wife is awesome. She's smart, has a good head on her shoulders, has a great sense of humor and is easy on the eyes to top it all off. She has a laugh that simply makes my day when I hear it. Because of her awesomeness she recently got promoted at work and as a result we may have to move this summer after being in Japan only a year. Moving is stressful; moving early sucks rocks. Our last assignment we moved after two years of a three year tour and that was painful enough. This, at the moment, is worse. We have a fantastic church, the kids are happy with their schools, friends and activities and I have yet to get a photo of Mt. Fuji that's worth showing to anyone. I feel like I'm on the express train to Stressville.

Did I mention I happen to be a stress eater? I might have left that part out.

Thank God I have become pretty firmly set in my Primal eating habits. Previously I would have easily packed an additional ten pounds onto my short suffering body under conditions like this (being the grocery shopper can have some negative side effects) but I'm out of the danger zone when it comes to the processed carbs I loved so much i.e. potato chips, french fries and the like.

But there has been some extra cheese hanging around in the fridge. And since I'm the King of Rationalization I said to myself, "Self, cheese doesn't have carbs in it! You should just heat some up on a plate and it won't be nearly as bad as those evil bags of sin you used to eat." So I did. Totally oblivious (OK, I admit I just didn't care) that despite being carb-friendly I could easily plug a thousand extra calories into my body throughout the day. And I did. More than once. sigh 

Because of the YBL weigh-in today I didn't continue on this course. Because of the food logs and journal entries I keep it was very easy to see what happened on such-and-such day AS WELL AS what my food response was to that day. Now, it is super-easy to make an adjustment and since I have a couple of people in my inner-circle of trust that will keep me on track I don't look at this as a failure as much as a lesson that I needed to learn. Emotions can trigger all kinds of ugliness and when combined with a liberal application of rationalization can start me back on the road to fattie land.

You see, our lives are about personal accountability. I made a choice and there were results from that choice. I can't blame my wife, her promotion, the lack of snow in Japan or the fact that I got canvas Nikes in 9th grade and not the cool leather ones. None of that crap is responsible for my actions. I am.

And thus, officially, it is not my wife's fault. Did I mention she's awesome?????

Hey, Conventional Wisdom: Eat It!

I used to have a doctor with the bedside manner of a seedy roadside-bar comedian.

"Silk or satin?" he says to me one day.

"What????"

"It's the question your wife is going to have to answer about your coffin if you don't get things together soon."

Shortly thereafter I left the office with a high-blood pressure medication and a high cholesterol drug. Well crap.

Fast-forward to yesterday. My blood cholesterol panel never got really good despite some pitiful efforts at CW eating (but I must admit no exercise). I began a Primal eating regimen and exercise program in the first week of December. So yesterday morning, Feb 2nd, I got my latest blood work results:

                                      25JUN10         24FEB11           1FEB12
Total Cholesterol                252                   206 (-46)         162 (-44)
HDL                                   33                      34  (+1)            34
LDL                                   176                   138  (-38)        113 (-25)
Triglycerides                       243                   191  (-52)        102 (-89)
Fasting glucose                    --                     116                    88 (-28)

I changed what I had been doing for years 7 weeks before this test

Oh, and it gets better. You may remember that I entered Yokota's Biggest Loser event since I was already making these sweeping changes to my life. Well I had my first weigh-in today:

                                    2NOV11     5JAN12*          3FEB12                     
Waist @ hip crest, inches      --              50.6               49.5 (-1.1)
Weight, pounds                  272          267.4 (-4.6)    254.8 (-12.6) <~~~~~ DUDE!!!!!
Body fat, %                        --               37.3               36.4 (-0.9)
BMI                                   --               40.1               38.6 (-1.5)

*Yokota's Biggest Loser Challenge starting weight

Again, I changed what I had been doing for years 7 weeks before this weigh-in. So what am I doing?

I eat BACON and make my REAL EGG omelets with BUTTER and on occasion I have a cup of WHOLE MILK and I use COCONUT OIL which is super-high in SATURATED FAT. I drizzle MACADAMIA OIL on my salads and have regular handfuls of MACADAMIA, ALMOND, SUNFLOWER, PUMPKIN, WALNUT and CASHEW nuts. I eat HARD BOILED EGGS wrapped in PORK SAUSAGE and BACON for breakfast. I have THAI CHICKEN SOUP made with COCONUT MILK for supper. I've eaten more BROCCOLI, BELL PEPPERS, CAULIFLOWER, BRUSSELS SPROUTS, ROMAIN LETTUCE, SPINACH, KALE, MUSHROOMS, SHALLOTS, ONIONS, GARLIC, CABBAGE and AVOCADOS in 7 weeks than I have in my entire life. I make my own GUACAMOLE every week. I put real freaking CREAM in my occasional cup of coffee!

I do SIT-UPS (I originally could not do a single one, now I do them in sets). I do PUSH-UPS (not regulation yet, but have gone from leaning on a wall to leaning on a couch and I make gains every week). I do SQUATS (and no longer hold onto a chair for support). I do KNEE-PLANKS (and have gone from seconds just barely into the double-digits to closing in on two minutes). I do this three times a week.

I run. Let me repeat that: I RUN! 7 weeks ago I ran for less than 30 seconds before I was gasping for air. Now I'm on week 3 of the Couch to 5K app. It's not pretty and I took 3 weeks to confidently perform the first week and I take 2 weeks to do each new milestone. But I can now run for over 3 minutes at a time and do that multiple times in a row. I don't LIKE running, but I like OWNING each segment. Hell, I spent money on running shoes. I do this three times a week.

I do hard things. And when those things get easy, I do something harder.

What DON'T I do?

I don't eat SUGAR, FLOUR, GRAINS, NOODLES, BREAD, MARGARINE, ICE CREAM, VEGETABLE OILS, BEANS/LEGUMES including PEANUTS or THINGS THAT CONTAIN THEM! I don't drink FRUIT JUICE, BEER, SODA or DIET SODA. I don't eat PROCESSED FOODS if I can help it. I don't eat FAST FOOD if I can help it (but still follow my guidelines as closely as I can when I have to). I DON'T SHOP FROM THE AISLES in the middle of the grocery store except for those items that promote my lifestyle (I shop around the edges mostly). I don't think of buying a new item WITHOUT READING THE LABEL. I ignore the standard FOOD PYRAMID, MY PLATE and RDA %.  I pretty much don't eat crap food anymore.

That's how I feel about Conventional Wisdom.

I don't blindly follow CONVENTIONAL WISDOM. I don't attend a social function WITHOUT EATING "MY WAY" before leaving the house. I have learned to liberally use the phrase NO THANK YOU. I don't spend HOURS working some CARDIO program to "burn calories". I don't take CRAZY SUPPLEMENTS or outlandish FAT BURNING PILLS. I don't put FUNNY DROPS in my water. I don't exercise because I HAVE TO or because someone TOLD ME TO. I exercise because I UNDERSTAND that it will BENEFIT ME and allow me a longer time to yell at kids who walk on my lawn. I eat the way I do because I understand that CONTROLLING MY INSULIN LEVEL is a VERY BIG DEAL and A DIRECT RESULT OF THE CHOICES I MAKE EVERY TIME SOMETHING GOES INTO MY GAPING MAW.

I EXERCISE RADICAL RESTRAINT on a daily basis (thanks for that Dean!). It is a LEARNED SKILL. I FAILED at many early attempts but I KEPT TRYING. I can now walk past plates of hors-d'vours or jalapeno poppers or petit fours or <gasp> glazed doughnuts unscathed. I'll say it again:  

EXERCISING RADICAL RESTRAINT is a LEARNED SKILL. Which means you can learn it!

If you don't try to figure that out, you'll never figure it out. I also learned that if I do eat something decadent that a) I'll feel like a steamy pile of poo later on, and b) the world will keep right on spinning. Meaning that I didn't BECOME A FAILURE, it means that I HAD (past tense) a failure. Get back on the flipping horse and continue the race!

Stepping off my soap box...

So you need to be motivated?

Anonymity. It's like a plague among us and we don't even know it. Anonymity has allowed us to suffer alone and not ask for or receive help. Anonymity allows us to be snarky and snipe away at others without consequence. Anonymity also allows us to make a half-hearted attempt to change and if the change gets too hard we can stop and no one is the wiser. Anonymity is not your friend.

There's another "A" word that IS your friend and can be instrumental in accomplishing nearly anything- accountability. Accountability is having someone in your life that cares enough about you to say "You're full of crap, stop your whining and do your flipping situps!" They don't do it to be mean and it's not said in a hateful manner, they just know you well enough to see through the facade we put on for most of the people we deal with on a daily basis. For some it can be a spouse or significant other. Personally I would steer clear of that route because those folks know you a little too well. Think of the prophet getting no respect in his home town type of thing.

I have had a couple of great men who were tasked with keeping me accountable for things through the years. The most memorable was Steve (my brother from a different mother) and he knew how to cut to the chase often telling me in some very forthright ways that I was being a selfish whiner and I needed to just suck it up and get on with it. Sounds harsh, but at that time those were exactly the words I needed to hear. He was doing it out of true concern for my well-being.

Not everyone needs to be motivated by having someone this close emotionally. Motivation can come from declaring your intent to a small group of friends and colleagues. Or even a large group of people like the readers of your own blog.

I started my life transformation on December 18th 2011. In the 2 1/2 weeks that followed I implemented my eating and exercise plan and was on my way. What I didn't realize until I saw a Facebook message was that the following week the Yokota Samurai Fitness Center here on the base would be starting their 2012 Biggest Loser event. Twelve weeks of friendly competition with an emphasis on lifestyle changes and healthy weight loss. And get this; first prize is $1,000 cash with second place getting $500 in men's, women's, couple's and family categories. This might be fun! I have already made the hard changes in my life and I'm working my plan!

So if you want to keep me accountable, gently bust my chops on this from time to time. But do it in love, do it because you care about me. And if you watch the Yokota Samurai Fitness Center page on Facebook for updates, keep your eye on number 9. But keep in mind that my goal is still the same as ever; pass the Air Force PT test by the first week of December 2012. Whatever happens in-between is just what happens and is icing on the cake. OK, better described now as butter on the bacon????